The Graceless Girl’s Guide to Making Your Bed

Even now, at the grand old age of 26, adulthood is as mysterious and elusive as it was when I was 16. It’s certainly more mysterious than it was when I was 6, at which point adulthood meant very simply that you no longer went to school and you could stay up as late as you wanted. It turns out that this is true, but, faced with taxes career decisions and “clubbing”, you long for an early night and a spelling test.

…That might be just me.

Still, as obscure as adulting might seem, I will occasionally notice a little habit I’ve picked up that is More Grown Up than I would have expected from me. A moment of “Ooh, check me out, next thing you know I’ll be pairing up my socks while watching the Great British Bake Off and eating All Bran”.

So yeah, sign me up for a pension and ask me when “there’s great drying in that weather”, because I make my bed every day.

(Almost)

I used to think “what’s the point? I’m just getting back into it later. Who am I doing this for?” Now, like everything I do, I do it for me.

There’s something about making the bed that says you’re ready to start the day. I think it’s that once the bed is made it’s that bit harder to get back into it. You’re telling yourself “No, don’t curl back up and go back to sleep – you definitely won’t return to the dream about Matthew Lewis reading Harry Potter to you shirtless – go out and meet the world!”. Or, go to work or whatever you actually have to do that day.

It works the other way, too. A well-made bed is so appealing after a long day, once you’ve earned it.

The problem with being this mature about housekeeping is that it involves a lot of laundry – since I don’t have a dryer, in Winter this means days of bed sheets hanging on door frames, radiators and the treadmill in my room (its main function). So, sometimes… I get my laundry done. This might seem ostentatious, who do I think I am? Carrie Bradshaw? The Queen? But, the fact is, as a busy, independent woman I do not have the time to fold a bloody duvet cover.

Folding a fitted sheet is like wrestling a ghost and barely half as fun – leave it to the professionals and spend your time on more important things like learning all the words to Come on Eileen or re-watching Miranda.

The bed making is not only about the covers – yes, it’s important that they’re clean and neat, but I think the true testament to my adulthood is the amount of blankets and throw pillows I own. I think they’re called “throw” pillows because I throw them on the floor before I get into bed, then throw them back on the next day.

What is the point of them? Firstly, they’re another layer I’d have to remove before climbing into bed. It’s laziness vs. laziness and laziness always wins. Secondly, some of them have fun sayings on them like “Know who you are, love who you are” which is a nice thing to read before you start the day and before you go to sleep.

Thirdly – and most importantly – they look good. Artfully arranged throws and pillows make your bed look like one from a catalogue or a hotel and give sleepytime a bit more pageantry. Some people might think it’s only worth doing this if you have guests but I think it’s a nice thing to do for yourself – you’re worth it.

So pick up some throw pillows, invest in a launderette and make your bed – sleep like a queen, wake up like a queen, live like a queen – even if you’re not ready to be a grown-up just yet.

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