Arguments for the Mysterious Reddish Stain on my Sleeve

Red wine stains everything. Clothes, carpets, upholstery, lips, teeth, your reputation… There are few homes without a telltale purple-red stain somewhere, after a splash at a party. But I don’t drink red wine, so where did this red mark on my cuff come from?

Here are some possibilities.

Lipstick: I love a red lip. My favourite shade is Russian Red from MAC, a dark, velvety matte. I could easily lift my hand to touch my face or brush my hair, and transfer lipstick to my clothes. Red lipstick on a shirt collar? Sexy. Red lipstick on the cuff of my geansaí? Unkempt.

Hair dye: This is not my natural colour, I am not the lovechild of the little mermaid and Chuckie Finster. I haven’t the patience to get my hair coloured professionally, so I box colour it at home. It gets messy, my shower looks like a scene from a horror film, or Game of Thrones. I go through many, many towels. It could ruin my jumper, too.

Ink: I write a lot, in journals, letters, post-its… My preferred pen is a violet FriXion Pilot, but I’ll use whatever’s handy. Many of my bags have dark stains in the corners where a pen lost its lid and seeped through the material, so this may have happened with a jumper.

Jam: I like donuts. Sometimes I eat them in bed, because it’s a woman’s priority to Do Whatever The Fuck She Wants. Sometimes it gets messy. If there’s sugar in my bed, there could be jam on my sleeve.

Blood: I’m clumsy and injure myself on a regular basis. Since working in a bookshop, I have paper cuts and scratches all up and down my arms that I rarely notice until someone mentions it. It could be blood.

I am procrastinating doing my laundry.

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