I watch a lot of t.v.
In t.v. or films, any time someone has a thought or feeling, you know that eventually it will be vocalised, because it’s a plot point and if it wasn’t going to come out, what would be the point of having it? It’s not a question of whether someone will say something, it’s only a question of when.
In reality, thoughts and feelings aren’t scripted, they’re just an occasionally inconvenient symptom of living. So there is no guarantee that they will be said. There’s no plot driving us, no perfect set-up for the big reveal, so we keep things to ourselves, often the most important things.
I love you. I hate cats. I’m very depressed. These are the things that run through our heads but that nobody might ever know. How many people die full of secrets? There’s all this stuff underneath the surface and it might never come out.
There is so much more to everyone than we can see. I’d love to see it, maybe just for one day. See the unsaid things written on people’s faces. What they think of me, of other people, of themselves.
It just sometimes feels wasteful, to have these strong feelings, crushes or grudges, and not let them out. We are capable of so much emotion and our brains can do so much, yet we waste so much of our time discussing inconsequential things like “ooh, bit cold today”.
I think I want a raw, honest world, but actually I suppose what I’m talking about is an edited, polished one. A world where people only say something if it’s relevant and important, which really isn’t very authentic. Secrets and lies are a part of life. As is small talk.
It would just be interesting, I think, if everyone just announced what they have been hiding. Because I DO love you and I DO hate cats. I’m not currently very depressed, but I’ll keep you updated.
The consequences would be fascinating, but, let’s face it, we might all hear something we don’t want to know. While we might imagine people are hiding their secret admiration for us, it’s far more likely that if everyone had a fit of extreme honesty we’d be hearing far more “yes, you DID look fat in that” and “Your poetry? It’s Bad.”.
Some things we should continue to keep to ourselves.