If I was a superhero I would be…

So in my ongoing quest to become an adult I also seem to have taken on a secondary quest, you might think of it as a sort of subplot. My goal is still to become a proper, successful grown-up lady and all that, but I have also apparently taken on the challenge to become the most adept procrastinator, like, ever.

I guess improving my writing could be a tertiary aim. Bearing that in mind, I found a website that generates creative writing prompts for children. I’m guessing the average age of the user (myself excepted) is about 10. So this is going to be fun.

My first primary school-level writing challenge is “If I was a superhero I would be…”

Unfortunately, THE PROCRASTINATOR is already taken (pre-meltdown Amanda Bynes gold http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kn5-cWsWcnY)

Maybe it’s because I am not, in fact, 10, but I’m not sure how to go about answering this. I mean, in many cases the superheroes don’t have a choice, do they? I can’t imagine SPIDERPOWERS would be anybody’s first choice. And Superman is just an alien.

Some heroes, like Batman, have consciously adopted their superhero persona. Accepting Nolan’s films as canon, he based his character on a fear, which is an interesting concept, except that I just can’t imagine open spaces and public speaking would make a particularly badass superhero, so that’s out.

I suppose, really, the exercise is about self-reflection, and you ought to draw your superhero alter-ego from your self. So perhaps a heightened aspect of your personality or present abilities. You know, like in Twilight. Not to brag or anything, but I’m pretty good at grammar. Like, better than it’s necessary to be in the days of auto-correct. So maybe I could be like… The Ellipsis… Definitely a contender.

But perhaps you’re supposed to choose something that you’re not, something you wish you could be. You’re greatest insecurity, could, in a freak (radiation? How do these things work?) accident, become your greatest asset. Given complete creative freedom, who would you be? I could be incredibly graceful Gazelle woman. Or maybe Self-Control girl, with a superhuman ability not to eat cake.

Then again, you could just choose the power that would be the most advantageous, like obviously the ability to stop time, or something generic like flight or invisibility, which, let’s face it, would be great. But it’s not very creative, is it? Which defeats the purpose of the exercise.

So, I think the answer is clear. If I was a superhero, I would be… Excessive Analysis Girl! With the superhuman ability to overthink everything.

C.C.

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