Dream Job #1: Celebrity Baby Namer

I am at that point in my life where I need to make some Serious Life Decisions. I have completed the appropriate amount of schooling and now I have been sent off into the world to… you know… be.

One of the more pressing questions I must ask myself is “what am I going to do with the rest of my life?”. That being said, I’m beginning to suspect that one never stops asking themselves this. But let’s talk careers. It’s time I got one, a Proper Grown-Up Career.

So instead of updating my CV or applying for jobs that could lead to said career, I’ve been daydreaming about Jobs I Wish Existed. Catcher in the Rye-style fantasy jobs, which I feel that are tailored to my personal skills and abilities, that is to say, not much.

So, option number one. Celebrity baby namer. Essentially, a celebrity couple who want their baby’s name to stand out in a world full of people with names would come to my agency and we would assign them a name.

The names would be priced by uniqueness, ranging from unusual to bizarre to call child protection services.

Examples include all-but-forgotten classical names such as Pyramus, Phaedra and Oenone. Or perhaps something more modern and topical, like Tumblr or Twitter (which I actually sort of love). Hashtag is maybe going a bit too far, especially if you spell it #.

Once I get the business off the ground, I will definitely offer graduate schemes to creative people with useless degrees. So send me your creative baby names via twitter @caoimhecreed.

C.C.

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