Smalltalk 101

If you were wondering what the best days to work in a coffee shop are (and if you’re an arts graduate, you probably were), the answer is Mondays and Fridays. The reason being that the awkward silences between ordering a coffee and passing it to the customer can be filled with discussion of the past or impending weekend.

Otherwise, you’re stuck with the weather. Bearing in mind that this is the UK, I’ve had to come up with some pretty creative ways of saying “it’s raining”. I get a real cranial workout with all the eye-rolling and head-shaking. Rare days of sunshine are an opportunity to be more positive, though I have recently discovered that the multi-purpose “enjoying the weather?” question can be used either genuinely or sarcastically in either situation.

Nothing causes me to panic more than a mild day mid-week. As a naturally anxious, socially awkward person, I look forward to the day that social niceties can include the phrase “Well, it certainly is weather outside!”

C.C.

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